Dextro Chips
by Blaze of Rapture
Summary: They're Delicious! They're Awesome! They're the most popular Dextro-based chips! They're making Garrus fat! FemShep/Garrus, Tali/Liara Based off a KinkMeme prompt. M for sex and language. Disclaimer posted in Chapter 2. By reading any chapters other than the first you accept and agree to follow the terms of this disclaimer. So, read it for once.
1. A Bag of Chips

Post from kinkmeme:

"Anything Garrus/femshep, Javik/Liara, or Vega/Cortez that plays up the military aspects of their lives. Call it a fraternization kink.

-sex in a bunk  
-sex while sparring  
-having to face the gossip  
-working out kink.  
-shower kink.

Or less sexy more situational,  
-pulling rank  
-comparison of prothean tactics vs other species  
-drills of any sort and by god, what would their ditty be?  
-whatever other aspects you can think of. "

Will be influenced by the fact that I'm only gonna listen to thrash metal and drink Mountain Dew. Just remember to blame the chips.

* * *

Shepard ordered Garrus to the war room over the intercom. She sounded pissed, but Garrus thought he might have just been mishearing her. There was just something about the way she said, "Garrus, get your fat, scaly ass to the war room before I drag you there myself.

Regardless, he left the Thanix Cannon, hoping it could go five minutes without calibration. He thought about how he _really_ needed to work on the stability of the system, given how the cannon loses a quarter-unit of calibration if left alone for more than a couple hours. He made sure to grab a bag of Dextro Chips from the mess before he headed to the elevator. He ripped the bag open and had devoured the contents before the elevator reached the top floor. It was no large feat, as it took the elevator about three or four minutes to move up a floor, a feature Cerberus had regrettably carried over from the original Normandy.

When he arrived at the CIC, he walked over toward the starboard door and entered the checkpoint. He thought for the hundredth time how stupid it was to have a checkpoint _inside_ the ship while he waited to be cleared. When they did, he entered the war room to find that most of the crew, at least those who joined Shepard on missions, was sitting in wait. He took a seat and grunted, noticing his armor felt tight and constricting. He was somewhat skeptical of the gathering, as one would naturally be, and voiced his concern.

"What's this all about, Shepard?" She did not respond, only looked behind him toward James Vega.

"James, door." James nodded and locked the door and came over to stand behind Garrus.

"Shepard?" Garrus was nervous. He usually trusted the Commander - hell they had slept together before the fight against the collectors – but she was actually making him a bit fearful now.

Shepard began to pace; her hands behind her back, clacking boots shattering the silence of the room with every step. "Garrus, this…" she said gesturing to the group seated around the table, "is a intervention."

Garrus chuckled, but he couldn't rid his laugh of the nervous tension it was used to veil. "Shepard, what is there to intervene? I don't understand."

Shepard stopped pacing and turned to him. "Garrus, we are here because of your eating problem." She tried to ignore the surprised look on Garrus' face. "Ever since we received that shipment of Dextro-based food, as per your and Tali's complaints, you have been eating excessively. This wouldn't be a problem, but you have started to gain weight and lose your performance capabilities."

Garrus was offended and became defensive. "I don't have an eating problem. Besides, that food is good, why shouldn't I be able to eat it?"

"Gordo, I took a Guardian's shield to the back of the head because couldn't keep up with us! You gotta quit eatin'." James said, rubbing his still bruised skull and he leaned over Garrus' shoulder.

"In fact, I am mandating group training for all of us. Garrus isn't the only one who needs a workout. Frankly, James is the only one who is in fighting shape, mostly because 90% of his day is spent doing pull ups and sparring. We will meet in the shuttle bay every other day, shower communally – because we only have one shower room, spar and work out."

There was a group moan, with everyone staring angrily at Garrus.

"I'd suggest you all quit wishing death on Garrus' family and get some sleep, we start tomorrow. I'm also locking up the Dextro food."

* * *

The next day, everyone was down in the Shuttle bay, without armor of course. It became obvious who had been keeping track of their figure, as Garrus and Tali were showing signs of weight gain. Shepard took Garrus to work with her, while Liara worked with Tali. James and Kaidan worked with each other on weights as spotters, however they mostly worked alone outside of that.

Garrus didn't see much of the others, as Shepard separated them for the sake of keeping Garrus' pride intact.

Garrus was forced into what was basically torture. Shepard pushed him harder than any CO, Drill Sergeant, or instructor he'd ever had. He hated her for it but knew she only did it because she cared. This was just one of her distorted ways of showing she loved him. First on the tough love menu was cardio. That meant running until he collapsed, literally. Shepard also showed him why she isolated him.

"Do you have to do that?" Garrus asked between heavy pants of breath. He was referring to the fact that she was literally running in circles around him while he trudged onward, barely able to continue.

"Nope, but it's supposed to inspire you." She decided he was going too slow, so she swiveled and began to backpedal in circles around him.

"Commander, permission to tell you to go fuck yourself?" he asked sarcastically, as he started cutting into what little energy reserves he kept for such an occasion.

Shepard smirked, picking up the pace to keep up now that he had sped up somewhat. "Permission denied. But if you don't get your ass in shape, I'll be forced to fuck myself, now won't I?"

This pissed off Garrus even more, and he used the rage to fuel his running. But his legs couldn't keep the pace. He tripped himself up and took a nosedive into the floor. Shepard stopped running and smirked once again. "Looks like we're done with cardio for today. Pick your ass up off the floor and follow me, it's time for weights."

Garrus forced himself up and began to follow her, stumbling and tripping as he tried to catch his breath. As he walked, he looked for his water bottle and lo and behold, where would it be but in Shepard's hand? He was not about to ask her for water, so he decided to go without. When they reached the weight bench, Garrus saw what most Americans feared on Earth. It was an old school weight bench, black as every one in existence seemed to be.

"Screw your new tech and equipment, nothin' beats a good old weight bench. Bought this sucker off a high school back on Earth for a steal." Garrus looked at her like she was insane, and perhaps she was, but she was his CO so he had to deal with it. "Now come the question, Garrus." She eyed him curiously. "What'cha bench?"

* * *

Upon having to lift the Olympic bar off his neck for the fourth time, Shepard decided to move on to sparring. Garrus might well be a sniper, but by God, there was no way he wouldn't work on his close quarters skills. She lifted the bar up and placed it on the bars.

"Come on, Garrus, one more thing and we're done." Garrus merely groaned in reply, nearly broken. "Get up. We're gonna spar."

Garrus forced himself up, but he knew he would regret it. He dragged his feet as he limped toward Shepard. He stopped in front of her and assumed that sloppiest defense stance she'd ever seen out of him. _He'll learn to endure, so help me God, he will._ She decided if he wouldn't try to defend himself, she'd show no mercy. She swept his legs, felling him, only for him to be tackled by her. She held him to the ground by his shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes.

She could tell he was beyond exhausted. She was honestly surprised he was even able to move, given the pure fatigue she saw. She knew she done well, though. She knew it was by sheer force of will that he managed to continue. He may have lost his fitness, but not what she truly loved in him, his resolve.

"You did good today, Garrus. I'm proud of you." Shepard said. She let the pressure off of him enough for him to move his arms. He seized the moment, using his last bit of energy to flip himself on top of her. After that, the only thing keeping her down was his dead weight.

"We-ll. Look who turned the tables. Regardless, I doubt you can keep going, so what do I have to do to get you off me?"

Garrus spoke quietly, as if speaking normally would completely drain him. "Two things. First, give me my fucking water."

Shepard was wondering when he would ask, but she had honestly forgotten after the cardio. "Holy shit, I forgot about giving you your water. You seriously made it through that workout without water? Damn, that's hardcore. Here's the bottle." She reached for the bottle and squirted him in the face with it. Garrus didn't know if she was being helpful or trying to piss him off, but he didn't care. The water felt good on his face and he managed to swallow some of it.

"Thanks." He said, a bit louder, as if his voice was just hoarse.

"What's the other thing you wanted?" Shepard asked, anxious to get him off of her.

Garrus grinned. "This." He said, immediately forcing his tongue into her mouth and wrapping his arms around her neck. After a moment, he broke away and stood. He limped away to shower, thinking _Totally worth all the shit I'll have to put up with from her now._

* * *

Liara was dealing with a complete different issue than Shepard. Instead, she had to deal with convincing Tali she needed to work out without giving the impression that Tali's ass was fat. She was having a damn hard time of it. It didn't help that she had always harbored something of a crush for the Quarian, being the only other tech-inclined person on the ship. She found herself constantly attracted to the Quarian's figure.

"So you're saying I need to work out because if I don't… my ass will get fat?" Tali said for the umpteenth time, albeit with different phrasing.

Liara had grown tired of defending her point and being gentle. "No Tali. You need to work out so you can be fully capable on the battlefield. Your ass is fine. I don't know why you worry about it like this. I like your ass… shit." Tali's eyes grew wide, enough to be visibly different through her visor. "I wasn't supposed to say that. Not that I don't like your ass, but… ah, Goddess."

Tali just muttered to herself. "You like my ass?"

Liara just rambled to herself before just coming out and saying yes.

Tali decided to step up. "You know, the shuttle has very comfortable back seats."

Liara saw where this was going. "Well… sex does burn about 300 calories per hour for someone of your weight."

With that, the two engaged in a 90 minute sex and make out session **(A/N: Fuck you, I'm not writing it. I'll write that shit later.)**

* * *

As Kaidan and James did laps, ran, and sparred, they couldn't help but wonder what they were missing out on. James was the more curious of the two, bringing it up while they sparred.

"Where ya think the others are? Doc and Sparks kinda disappeared." He said, throwing a heavy punch.

Kaidan chuckled, ducking the blow. "Let's just say Cortez will be bitching about the shuttle's back seats tomorrow." He swept James legs, making him drop as if dead legged. "Before you ask, you don't want to know what Shepard and Garrus are doing."

James recovered and cringed. "Shit. Scars and Lola? Fuck, I didn't need to hear that. Goddamn, LT."

Kaidan faltered at hearing his old nickname. James took advantage and downed him. Kaidan was stunned for a few moments.

James, concerned asked. "Hey man, you alright?"

Kaidan came to his senses, "Huh? Oh, yeah. Where'd you hear that nickname?"

"I heard Shepard call you that once. Why? Is it not cool for me to call you that?" he asked sincerely, helping Kaidan up.

"Nah, it's fine. It's just… someone I used to know called me that a lot." He started to walk back to the showers when James called out.

"You alright man? You look kinda… hazy."

Kaidan kept walking, never looking back, and said "Yeah, I just need a shower."

_LT_, he thought. _Damn, I miss her._


	2. This One's a Bit Creepy

**300 hits, but no reviews? Come on guys. At least 250 of you are from English-speaking countries. Step up for me. Also, this is what happens if I watch Zero Punctuation before writing a sex scene. I acknowledge it probably sounds like Yahtzee wrote it when he was half drunk, so bear with me.**

**Disclaimer (By reading any part of this chapter or any future chapters (meaning any other than the first), you are agreeing to have/had/will have/etc. read this before interacting with the contents of this chapter): Also, as per my legal obligations, I claim no responsibility for any individual's viewing of the content of this chapter or ownership of any/all copyrighted materials featured in this story. All individuals should be informed that there is sexual content of a nature that might disturb, confuse, or disorient viewers, so discretion is advised. Also, it is not advised that minors not partake in reading/viewing/ listening to the reading of/interacting in any way with the content of this chapter or any other chapters posted in this story with a warning listing it as explicit, as the content is not suitable for those under the age of 18, by the laws of the United States. If you live in any other countries, apply the laws of your respective government. Let it be known that this disclaimer is intended to apply to this entire story and, as an extension, the entirety of this author's works containing explicit or copyrighted materials.**

**There, you get a lemon and I covered my ass from arrest for presenting pornography to minors.**

* * *

Garrus lay in his bunk, because it could hardly be called a bed, dreaming of a certain Commander. It was the early hours of the ship's time cycle, perhaps two or three in the morning, when Garrus was woken by something, probably a towel he would later think, being drawn and held across his eyes. He felt a nudge at his side, urging him to roll onto his stomach. He complied, wondering how an intruder had gotten into his room, let alone the ship without being noticed.

He felt the cheap bunk sink as pressure was put on it by someone getting on it. He was pulled onto his side, halfway between his two previous postures, and felt a body press against him. _Oh, Spirits. _He thought, _There's someone in my room, and now I'm getting spooned._ The towel was pulled away and the person began to suck on the back of his neck.

Garrus was scared, mostly of anal rape, so he conceded. "What do you want?" he said, practically silent.

The assailant pulled off of his neck and moved their mouth near his ear, whispering "Your _dick_."

Garrus almost jumped out of bed before he recognized the voice. Instead, he merely rolled on top of the intruder. "Damn it, Shepard. I'm trying to sleep."

Shepard laughed quietly, somewhat crushed by the person who had laid on her twice in as many days. "Sorry. I thought you'd want make-up sex for me pushing you so hard."

Garrus never moved, deciding to let her suffer under his weight. "Well," he said slowly, trying to draw out his response, "while I'd never actually refuse sex, especially make-up sex, I think you'll have to sweeten the deal this time. After all, I went most of yesterday _without any damn water._"

Shepard sighed, instantly regretting it now that she wouldn't get that breathing room back. "Fine, you can do whatever you want this time."

Garrus grinned, knowing exactly what he wanted to do. "Those are dangerous words, Commander." He said, slipping his hand under her ass and squeezing lightly. Just as she seem about to object, he said, "But you know the rules: no take-backs." He squeezed her ass again, harder this time, to make his point.

"Fu-uck." Shepard said, feigning disappointment.

"Shut up and roll over." He said playfully as he got off of her. He ditched his clothes and helped her with hers. Deciding that he was too tired to be even relatively accurate with his hands, he decided to forgo foreplay entirely. Instead, he rested his hands on her sides, pressing her chest into the bed, and inserted himself into her. He gave a couple swift pumps before pulling out.

"Garrus, what the hell are you doi-ing!" Shepard near screeched toward the end of her question. Garrus had begun to tease her ass with one of his hands, just enough to prevent sex from becoming similar to trying to rape a tightened vice. Once he got her a bit loose, he slid in, using the wetness of her vagina as lubrication. He pumped very slowly at first to tease, pleasure, and prevent an embarrassing visit to Chakwas.

As she adjusted to the pain, Shepard began to moan fairly loud. Garrus knew just how much hell they'd catch if someone heard, so he grabbed the towel Shepard had used and pulled it tight around her head, obscuring her mouth. Pretty soon, she began to scream her moans. Garrus remembered the first time they had sex, she had a pretty loud climax, so he knew she was close. He was close as well, but was worried.

Garrus didn't know how humans handled semen shot into their anus, but he thought this, _Definitely shouldn't take the chance._ So once she had climaxed, he pulled out and unloaded himself on her back. _Her problem. _He thought, perhaps a bit spitefully, S_he had to seduce me at three a.m._

Garrus found himself quickly losing consciousness from exhaustion, but he had one goal before sleep: don't land on Shepard's semen covered back.

He managed to shift enough to land on his side, looking into Shepard's eyes. He found himself led to sleep by one of the Commander's warm smiles. It was enough to make him return to the exact dream he was having before.

* * *

Both Liara and Tali were aching, the day after the first work out. They lost track of time and ended up "exercising" in the shuttle for about four hours, so their pain was viable. Shepard was staring daggers at Garrus all day for waking up with a sticky back. Garrus just seemed especially proud of himself. Kaidan and James were the only ones who seemed relatively normal the next day, both used to physical work outs and not having not had sex the prior night.

Shepard had nothing better to do than try to annoy Garrus. Now, mind you she had _plenty_ to do, but none of it was as important as annoying Garrus. She wouldn't have to if it wasn't for one thing he had done the prior night.

"Garrus," She asked, as she closed the door to the main battery behind her. "Why in God's name did you find it necessary to put my shirt back on me, _after _you came on it?" She was clearly pissed, and Garrus knew he was screwed if he didn't think fast.

"Well Shepard," he started, trying to maintain his confidence to improve believability, "I did it so if someone came in, they would just assume you slept in my room, but not _with_ _me_, if you understand. It was an act to maintain you reputation as an honorable Commander." He turned and Shepard twisted a knob on his control panel while he couldn't see. She didn't care if she died in the next half hour because he couldn't calibrate the cannon enough to hit a target, it was worth it to fuck with him.

"Garrus," Shepard said, leaning in close and resting a hand on Garrus' shoulder, "it took me an hour – a whole _goddamn_ hour – to peel that shirt off. It hurt like _hell._ I swear I peeled a pound of flesh off, because Turian semen is pretty much equivalent to human super glue when it hardens. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. You will pay, and I'm starting with rank. It doesn't matter what you were before, because your _new_ rank is "Shepard's Little Slave-Bitch". Get me?" She shoved his shoulder with this last line to seal her intimidation factor.

She stormed out of the room, not waiting for a response, as if Garrus could make one. _Could have been worse. _He thought, _At least she isn't physically abusing me yet._

* * *

3 hours later, after Garrus finally fully recalibrated the Cannon, which had mysteriously been thrown clean out of whack, he left the main battery for some food. He went to the store room, hoping Shepard hadn't made good on her promise to lock up the good Dextro food. Of course she had, but she also left a note. It was posted on the cabinet filled with the old, crappy Dextro said:

_Garrus,_

_You are to eat what is in the brown bag in the cabinet, and only what is in that bag. If you refuse to eat it, or eat ANYTHING else, I will see to it that you come out of tomorrow's drills near dead and crippled. Do not cross me._

_-Shepard_

"Shit." Garrus said, more to himself. He opened the cabinet, retrieved the bag, and opened it to see the hellish concoction inside. But, instead of a hellish concoction, he found a thermos and a simple sandwich filled with strange meat Garrus was not familiar with. He disregarded his concerns, hoping Shepard wasn't willing to kill him, at least so soon.

He ate the sandwich quickly, which, although gamey, was better than c-rations. The liquid in the thermos didn't taste horrible, just salty and a bit chalky. After he ate, he decided to track down Shepard to see if an apology would even slightly quell her rage, although he doubted it would. After searching most of the ship, he found she was in the main battery. He had actually given up on finding her and was heading back to work, but she was waiting for him.

"Garrus," she said inquisitively, eyeing him up and down. "enjoy your... lunch?" Her pause struck Garrus oddly and he became suspicious.

"Why do you ask, Shepard? Was there something "special" about it?" he replied, arms crossed with deliberant stoicism. Shepard began to approach him.

"Why, yes." She replied, walking in circles around him, grazing his armor with her fingertips. "That sandwich? Varren."

Garrus, who had been following her movement with his eyes, was mid-swallow and nearly choked. "Varren? You can't be serious. That causes food poisoning in Turians! You could have killed me!"

Shepard smiled sinisterly. "Ah, yes. But I didn't." she said wagging her finger. "No, that would be no fun. Besides, Garrus, you're worth too much. I need you. I won't kill you, but you will know hell." She walked over to his chair, swiveled it and sat facing him.

Garrus thought he would be sick. Indeed, he might, but he was just stressed and irate. He tried to calm himself as he continued to speak. "What was in the drink?" His voice shook, uneasy with latent nausea. Shepard just laughed, angering Garrus more. He vented his anger by punching a dent into the wall, throwing Shepard for a second. "What did you put in the damn drink?"

Shepard just swallowed, afraid to respond. She was actually scared he might attack her. She could take him, sure, but how far had she pushed the line? Had she passed his breaking point? Garrus became impatient, clutching her shoulder and squeezing hard enough for it to hurt. "Shepard," he spat, his voice again uneasy, but now with rage. "I don't appreciate being fucked with. Now answer my damn question."

She was about to respond, when he went wide-eyed and bolted from the room. She sighed in relief, thankful that half the drink had done its job. The drink, a truly devilish mixture, was in fact high-grade laxative mixed with the semen she had boiled off of her shirt. She really wondered how he choked it down as she left the main battery to continue with her day.

* * *

**Hope you liked this chapter, I'll try to be a bit less strange, creepy, and otherwise weird the next time.**


	3. Rebellion, or Sex in a Can, in Space

**Guess what? Bioware's full of it. I found out that in **_**real**_** biochemistry, Levos and Dextros would not die from eating each other's food. They would get horrible stomachaches, diarrhea, and obtain no nutrients, but they wouldn't die. So it's not that they **_**can't, **_**it's just there's no reason at all. Also, Dextro sweat and urine are natural enhancement (think Viagra) to Levos and vice versa. **

After spending a half hour in the bathroom, Garrus emerged, angry at Shepard, but not willing to go near her. He was fearful that if he did, he would do something to get himself court marshaled. Instead, he decided to head down to engineering to talk to Tali. Maybe she would have something to say as a fellow Dextro, considering all the recent changes were because of and directed at them.

He saw that none of the other engineers were there with her, and he would soon find out the reason why. As he approached, she saw him out of the corner of her eye. Her first reaction, although more of an impulse, was to squeal and attack him, so she did. Her second reaction, less impulsive, was to compose herself and apologize for her actions. Feeling slightly on the side of impulse today, she acted on this as well.

Garrus was bit quicker, though. "This is a bad time. I should go, maybe come back later." He said, a bit embarrassed, turning toward the door. He felt Tali's hand on his shoulder and he knew he should stay. He turned and was hugged, much less aggressively this time. "Garrus… narkesi. I'm sorry. I think stress has been getting to me." She let him go, and stepped back, wrapping her arms over herself, as if for warmth. Garrus felt sorry for her, so he gently embraced her from behind and kissed her on the head, at least, as much as he could kiss with his mandibles. _Narkesi_, he rolled the word, though more of a nickname, around in his head. She had given it to him the first time the group had been with Shepard, when they battled Saren.

"_It means "brother" in Khelish. Well, actually it means child of father, so it's technically unisex, but we don't really use it unisexually." Tali said to him, feeling he understood where she came from more than the others, even Shepard, who was right there with sympathy when needed. No, she and Garrus shared common bonds, or bases, as the case may be. Being the only Dextro on a ship was hard, but not as much when you had another to quell the loneliness and understand the unique problems that came with it. _

_Garrus was surprised, but didn't show it. He took the title of brother as an honor and a chance to spend more time with a sister, since he never saw his anymore. "Thank you, Tali. It's an honor. If I may ask, what is sister? Just so I can properly respond, of course." Garrus blushed a bit with this last comment, hoping she wasn't getting the wrong idea._

"_Of course, Garrus, always the professional." She giggled a bit at his embarrassment. "It's nardisa, child of mother. I guess this makes us siblings, by bond not blood. I hope that makes sense."_

"_It does." Garrus replied, reminded of his brothers by blood and bullets, bonded by the battlefield. "Perfect sense."_

Garrus roused himself from his memories. "Nardisa."

Tali smiled, smiled for no-one to see. "Yes, it must be the stress. I'm glad you're here, Garrus, you are the only one on this ship I can truly talk to, unrestrained." She turned off the console she had been accessing and exited the programs on her Omni-tool, then leaned up against the consoles "So, how did your work out with Shepard go yesterday?"

Garrus stood next to her and leaned against the consoles. "Good, I suppose. She rode me pretty hard, but I got through it well enough. I'm still bit sore though." Tali seemed surprised by something, though.

"You two had sex during the work out?" Tali asked, shocking Garrus.

"What? No! What made you think-" He paused and thought for a second, "Tali, riding someone hard is a human expression. It means she was hard on me, gave me no leeway. Speaking of work outs and riding hard, I heard about your "work out" with Liara."

It was Tali's turn to be embarrassed, "Oh, you heard. I don't know what came over me honestly. I just had the urge, I guess."

"Like you had the "urge" to nearly start dry humping me when I came in? What's up with that?"

Tali puzzled over this, but found no answer. "I don't know, maybe Shepard's releasing hormones into the air or something."

Garrus became a bit mad, just at the mention of her name. "Yeah, Shepard. You know she made me eat a varren sandwich today?"

Tali shot up for her relaxed position, eyes wide. "She did what? She knows that Dextro food can cause food poisoning and cramps, right? Why would she do that?'

"She said she measure enough not to cause me problems, but she did force me to drink a thermos of laxative and semen. My_ semen_."

"How do you know that? And where the hell did she get your semen?"

Garrus sighed. "I didn't drink all of it so I scanned the rest after I left the bathroom." Tali gave him a look, mostly a sharp gaze, which told him to finish the question. "She got the semen from her shirt. We sex last night, but not the normal way, so I… uh, you know… on her back. Then, to conceal what happened, I put her shirt on her. She spent an hour peeling it off, apparently Turian semen is like glue."

Tali's interest was piqued by one part of his story. "What do you mean by "not the normal way"?"

Garrus sighed again, "Anally. I'd wanted to try it, so Shepard let me because she forgot to give me any water during the workout."

"Oh." Was all Tali said. She'd always imagined that she and Garrus could be alone, no Shepard. Just him for her to have, hold, and _love_. She teased him about liking Shepard, but she knew she would always love him more than Shepard could. She didn't know why she felt like she'd always like Liara, but she knew that those feelings were really for Garrus.

"Garrus, would you ever…" she said, but she stopped cold, refusing to finish.

"What?" Garrus became very curious, given her sudden silence, "Would I ever what?"

_Love me like that?_ Tali desperately wanted to finish the question that way, but nerves seized her speech. Garrus walked in front of her, putting his hands on her shoulders. She seized him, drawing him into a tight embrace, desperate to feel him. "Would you ever love me like that, Garrus?"

* * *

Shepard was thinking she should apologize for her actions. She had been a bitch and Garrus deserved better. She wanted to break it off, for his sake. She knew he hated her now, and she had been leading him on for a while, she had lost interest a long time ago.

* * *

"I would."

Garrus and Tali weren't thinking, just acting. Garrus realized he wanted to leave, he hated how Shepard wanted to play games and control him. He realized he wanted Tali. They quickly decided they must leave. They didn't want to stay, they wanted to leave, at least for a while, just to get away. They knew they'd pay, they might even be court marshaled. They didn't care. They wanted _out_.

They hijacked the shuttle, but not before stocking it with a week's supplies, the crappy stuff sure, but hadn't the time to break in for the good stuff. They packed it in the shuttle and took off.

Shepard heard this from EDI and Traynor, but when she found out who was on the shuttle, she said, "Give them time, they'll come back on their own. We have to stay in orbit here anyway." With that, Shepard left, heading up to her quarters.

* * *

Tali started to filter the air, while Garrus piloted the shuttle down to orbit of a nearby planet, undoubtedly Shepard's destination. They didn't care, so long as wherever they were, they wouldn't be hit. Once they sunk into orbit, the air was fully filtered and Tali began the tedious process of stripping her suit, allowing Garrus to watch with growing interest. He'd never seen a Quarian's body before, much like the rest of the galaxy. The first thing to go was the mask, then the arm pieces, the upper body, and finally the legs and abdomen.

Garrus was surprised, yet somehow not. He could say one thing for sure about the Quarians, was that they had created the Geth mostly in their image. Their faces were normal, although with smaller features, they looked nothing like humans though. Rather they had the downward emphasis of the Turians, along with a similar fringe on their heads, similar to Turians, but smaller.

The rest of her body was much like how the suit fit her, sinewy, long, very similar to the Geth. The most noticeable features, indeed, were her luminescent eyes and lavender skin. She was something he hadn't expected. He had thought she might look closer to humans, but saw instead that Dextro-based life shared more than DNA basing. They had inklings of similarity, like Humans and Asari.

He didn't care much about the details, though, she was more beautiful than he'd thought she'd be, and he loved it. As she stripped the leggings away, he moved in close, discarding what was left of his own armor as he went.

He pushed her down onto the seats, carefully enough not to hurt her, but forcefully enough to be playful. He arched his body over hers, one leg straddling her and the other planted on the cabin floor for stability. He teased her, gently massaging various parts of her with licks, rubs, pinches and nips. He slowly worked his scattered aim down toward her center, placing his hands on her waist when he did. Using his thumbs and good hand strength, he massaged her abs, rubbing deep and hard into them. Despite knowing she loved this, Garrus continued his journey south. He reached her womanhood and left his hands at her waist, using them for grip.

He began to tease her with his tongue, slowly licking her slit. After a few swipes, he dunked his tongue into her, forcing it deep as he flicked it up and down. Soon, they grew tired of the foreplay; Garrus could feel her growing anxious for him to start. Following the cue, Garrus pulled his head away from her, never moving his hands. He slid in, but he felt a hitch. He was surprised, not having known she was a virgin. He'd have thought she'd have had intimate moments before. He discarded these thoughts, deciding he would return to them later, and focused on her. He gave a few slow careful strokes before he began to speed up.

She began to tighten up as he went and soon came, moaning loud. After a few more deft strokes, Garrus too came. He retreated from her, about to clean himself, when she leaned up and did it for him. She gave a smile, a genuine, perfect smile. Garrus was overwhelmed by the sight and fell into a seat, pulling her onto his lap.

They continued this cycle of passion and reprieve, only stopping to eat and occasionally sleep, for a few days before something changed. They had stopped. Tali was sore, as was Garrus, but that was not the reason. They made no indications of wanting to have sex again. They still cared, but they lost the driving force. Given the time now, Garrus put on enough of his armor to access his omni-tool. He was curious to see if Shepard had taken the time to message him.

He was unsurprised when he saw that she had, but was surprised by the message's subject line. "I'm Sorry."

The message was as follows:

Garrus,

I'm sorry for how much of a bitch I've been to you. I'd lost interest a long time ago, to be honest, but I didn't want to be alone. That's understandable, right? Regardless, I had to hang on tight at the end, because I knew Tali wanted you, and I was afraid she would take you. Eventually, I just gave in, so to accelerate your relationship and end ours in one inconspicuous move, I became a colossus of irate hatred. What I hadn't counted on, though, was that Dextro food. I'm hoping you didn't bring any with you, because I need you to understand the side-effects.

If you're reading this, I assume you've suddenly lost the intense drive you've been feeling. That's because the Dextro food, which has worked itself out of your system, increases production of sex-specific hormones. That means you and Tali were filled to the brim with testosterone and estrogen, respectively.

I hope you don't hate me too much, because I'm welcoming you back to the ship. I've instructed the crew not to mention this incident and I hope you're willing to come back. I'm not sure if I still have a friend in you, but I know I need the soldier in you. Both of you.

Please come home,

-Shepard

Garrus showed the message to Tali and she talked to him for a long while about it. They decided it was time to stop acting like foolish children, after all they'd almost run out of food any way. So they agreed and contacted the Normandy, requesting that they accept an incoming shuttle. There was a message directed to Shepard attached to the request.

Shepard,

We're coming home. See you soon.

-Garrus

* * *

**That's it. The end. I will NOT add onto this. Do not ask. I hope you enjoyed it.**


End file.
